Again.

Replay. Repeat. Reread. Again.

Lay in your bed and stare in the dark. Reread the verses when it gets too hard.

Replay each screaming match and apathetic facial expression so you don’t miss him. Replay him closing the door and not making sure when you got to the car you safely got in. Replay the look in his eyes when he didn’t care much about that good bye. Replay, don’t stay.

Repeat all the daggers he threw in your head. “Fuck you.” “I don’t give a fuck.” “I don’t care.” Don’t call that back into your bed. Repeat the words that are what hold the bricks. Put down the phone and repeat the words that adhere and stick. 

Reread the words you wrote to let out the poison. Reread the verses where you didn’t think you’d survive. Reread so you remember that time you all but died. The dozens of sad coated poems to the two where he made you smile. Reread what you wrote so you don’t pick up and dial. Reread, he is not what you need.

Laying in the dark of the room I force myself to remember that I was nothing to you. Lay in the dark i repeat all the words, I replay the scenes of how often I cried and how little I wanted to sing. 

Again and again and again until you stop starting to call. Again and again and again until you don’t think about him at all.

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2 thoughts on “Again.

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