It doesn’t go away and it always comes in waves. The missing you.
It laps on the shores or it is calm and ripples slowly. It either drowns me or I float. Waters of how he doesn’t care so wholly.
Apathy was always his first and truest love. She is plain enough she can be obtained. Cool enough she doesn’t threaten how he feels about his station. She is perfect.
She is dry winds on a hot day that don’t cool you down. You appreciate what it is but you miss those summer shores of where cooler winds are found.
She is “come back” when you locked her out. She is the perfect mistress they all talk about. Apathy holds him like I never could. Apathy doesn’t say the things I wish She would.
Today I’m treading water in the waves of missing him. I’m replaying the moments and trying to spit out that water that will drown me from within.
Today I wish Apathy would come seduce me the way she does to him. She could undress me and use me, have every inch of my skin.
I’m waiting on Her orange floating ring to drag me out of this pool. Today I’m just keeping afloat and hoping Apathy keeps me from being his fool.