Chad,

Forgiveness is a very delicate thing. I want to explain it to him. I want him to understand how it’s twisted throughout my skin.

I cannot hold hate. It’s much too heavy for my thin skin to hold on to. I am holding on to hurt as much as I try to let it go. I can spit and snarl and snap but I’m still hurt and I suppose it’s time that you know. 

You don’t understand how forgiveness works or how my mind forms it’s words. You might read my everything but it will never make sense to you until you lose that selfishness. Until you lose that blindness that only concerns you. 

I know your demons like they are my own. They are vicious and they are not on chains. They own you and, sadly, you are the one to blame. 

You once ran with those wolves that ravage your brain. As you tamed, they ran without you and now you don’t know how to bring them to sane.

I forgive you. You are a boy lost inside a very dark cave. I forgive you. You are only living with the monsters you have made.

It’s time to climb out of that darkness and it’s time to change. It’s time to be a grown man that knows how to behave. We are all haunted, we all have demons. It’s time to face them and leash them.

I am hurt by you. You need to stop ripping me apart or never speak to me again. Stop trying to trick me into being your friend.

 I miss you. You miss me. It’s time to forgive yourself and grow up to be the man you want your boy to be.

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