The almost dial.

I’m not sure how many times it takes for me to learn. Choosing to think the best and giving hope where it isn’t earned. 

I am bitter and I am mean, however I keep forgiving you for everything. How many times do I need to have my nose rubbed in the dirt? How many times do I need to allow myself to be hurt? 

I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to. Long enough to hate myself for even thinking about you. 

Silly girl with a kinder heart, I can’t be ruined and I can’t forget. I forgive until I bleed and you will look back and wished you had never left me.

Finding a girl with the wind in her hair and who overlooks your flaws is rare. Darling, they are jagged and they are monsters but I loved you despite the burdens I had to bear. 

I’ve got to write and rewrite all the reasons why, why you left, who’s in your bed, and the summation of the lies. It keeps me from listening to everything my heart is questioning, it keeps me from thinking without my brain. 

I’ve got to reread my own words to keep my from dialing your name. 


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