I have jumped from a plane with nothing but a stranger and a piece of the thinnest fabric attached to me. More than once.
I have canoed through “expert” level white waters in a lightening storm. And was glad for the rain to hide my tears when going over a water fall into swirling waters with thunder over head.
I like to feel alive. I like to find new pieces of myself by burning away my fears.
The biggest fear I have ever overcome was being hired on Norwegian Cruise Lines where I was called and given 9 days to pack my life and leave for a 5 month contract in Hawaii. Where I didn’t know anyone. And had no idea if I was a sea-sick kind person. I hysterically cried into a stuffed owl named, Pan, pretty much the entire flight. That’s a long flight from the east coast.
There is this Dove candy wrapper I have taped to my mirror. It says, “You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore”. Pretty insightful for a chocolate made for women to face stuff. However, repetitiously cry-choking these words really got me through my flight.
And here I am again. My lease is up at summer’s end and I will be leaving for some hostel in Florida until I can score a job on a yacht as an au pair. Hopefully I won’t need Liam Neeson at any point.
I suppose my point is to talk myself into continuing being brave. That the thought of July creeping up so quickly, or the thought of not seeing my family whenever I want, the idea of being completely away from everyone and everything I know without a date of home coming is nauseating.
So I will continue to repeat (dry eyed), “You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore”.