The perks of man friends.

It’s been a while since I’ve last sat down and organized my thoughts. I’ve been trying to learn Italian. And making shelves. And painting. And reading. Did I mention how much I love being on Winter Break? All this free time to be artistic and pretend I’m H.D. Thoreau are coming to a halt as I start student-teaching full time. All of this me-time has been quite eye opening.

I have almost zero female friends. I have a handful that I enjoy hanging out with on occasion and a couple who are my favorites. However, I don’t often get along with other girls. Drinking at a brewery last night with two close male-friends merely reinforced this. I am crass. Down right crude, coated in a heavy sarcasm. I don’t handle crying or whining very well, it makes me homicidal and/or uncomfortable. Men don’t seem to have these problems as openly as most women, which I appreciate fully. No awkward head patting necessary.

Today women are more free to be awkward and less “lady-like”. I was told by a co-worker (in the most condescending tone known to humans) that cursing isn’t lady like. Well, I am a fucking lady.

Why having men as your best friends is awesome:

1. I don’t have to look pretty. I could wear a pair of sweat pants under a cocktail dress and I’m fairly certain they would not notice.

2. The male perspective is freely and openly given. Any risque questions or wonders about what men like or think about? Um, they just tell me. It’s usually so simplistic I can’t believe they can make toast, sometimes.

3. Air soft guns. We spend our free afternoons geared up shooting at each other at an old warehouse. Its such a better stress relief than shopping or painting my nails (which I love). Having guy friends treat you like an equal is so subconsciously rewarding. Sexism is such a part of life, no matter how small, that getting shot multiple times without mercy as if I were one of the guys is my favorite part. I’m  not seen as an inferior sex; I’m just another opponent about to capture their flag!

4. No gossip. They just don’t care. No catty cuts at each other behind everyone’s backs. No worrying that they might be talking about me behind my back. Trust.

5. Crying makes them just as uncomfortable as it does for me. If I cry, it’s sure as shit not going to be in front of anyone. We all handle crying girls with an awkward pat on the back and shifty eyes.

6. That one time I cried (yea, sometimes my hardened heart melts), they bear hug me and hand me a beer. Perfect. No fuss. Just a true hug and an, “It’s ok. Here [insert beer].”

I’m an equal, I don’t have to be anything but myself (as un-lady like as it is), there is no awkward chit-chat, no need to be dolled up all the time. These guys keep me sane.


7 thoughts on “The perks of man friends.

  1. While a know-it-all, please remember that I don’t actually know it all when you read my next sentence. Remember that we men are still always hoping for more. Eek. I’m sorry, it’s just the way it is. I’m happy you have good guy friends and feel comfortable with them, but don’t forget that if/when you pair off with one of them, those remaining are going to lose interest or cause you trouble. Maybe I’m old school or revealing some massively mis-formed personality, but I couldn’t help but think of this article I read in college from The Onion when I read your post.,11552/

    Don’t hate me. Please. 🙂 I only comment because this is one of the most frustrating things I’ve ever encountered in life, this, meaning attractive women who don’t think they’re being wooed. Okay. I’ve said too much. Again, I’m sorry. I just am compelled.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. My point here is just how nice it is to have a friendship with a man and not be expected to fall for one of them. I don’t want to. I get tired of the assumption women can’t be friends with men without sleeping with them or having a crush on one of them. I enjoy my freedom from these stigmas with them.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hold on just a minute. “The assumption that women can’t be friends with men without…” Who holds that assumption? I have never heard that in my life. Seriously? I’m trying to tell you that these guys (unless they are married and you were hanging out with their wives as well) are wooing you. They might not know it. They will certainly deny it, but they are. Again, this topic is the one that is unsolvable to me. That’s why I keep responding. I have no idea whether you would fall for one of them, it seems like you’re pretty sure you won’t. But I’d challenge you to re-evaluate your knocking female friendships stance and go deeper as to why you feel the way you do. We’ve all seen Mean Girls, right? Is it simply that? Here’s my big finale. The only women I have ever heard of champion men as friends are single. Married women don’t have male friends, how could they? Same for married men and women friends.



      2. The assumption comes from being asked by others. It comes from “married women don’t have male friends”. It comes from coming in contact with people being surprised that my closest friends are male. If I can’t have people I trust with my life and have fun with around when I’m married merely because they have different equipment then I guess I’ll be hard pressed to find a husband.


  2. I see. I want to clarify one thing. It is not bad or wrong or anything for the fellas to want to woo you (quite the opposite). I just don’t like when people aren’t aware of the game. I wish I would be wooed. 🙂 It happened once and was so powerful I married and divorced over it. 😦 I’m just offering feedback, descriptive not prescriptive, that it’ll be a super man indeed who wants to share his wife with another man. Would you want your man to have a best girl friend who he wants to be alone with? Seems unlikely. But then there’s no requirement to get married in this life. I’ll write a post on this next week and see what we can learn from comments. You’ve got me curious with this idea that females are implying/asking if you’re sleeping with your guy friends etc. notion.



    1. Hopefully, future husband will become part of our delightful gang. I want to be wooed. I don’t want to wonder if I am a romantic interest in someone’s life. Girls are a whole other animal to tackle, however haha

      Liked by 1 person

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