Forgiven

I’m a grudge holder. I forgive but I don’t forget.
I fixate so I have to write. Like these words spilled on paper will soak up my thoughts and leave my head open for peace, I write like I forgive.
Messy.
It took a year. It took breaking the things that reminded me and scribbling down the furry, screaming out my lungs and forcing out the memories.

it has been a year. And we both say we have matured. I have let out all my rage and littered it along my bedroom floor. He said that he is different, that his mind is fresh and new.

I don’t know where we are
I don’t want to think too hard.

But I know that I have forgiven.
I haven’t forgotten, though.
I’m hoping time will let those feelings fade because I know that Time heals nothing. I know Time will just keep ticking and we’ll write it like She’s real.

But after one year I’m changing, he’s changed, I’m scarred but I am new. I have forgiven him.
That is the only thing I can do.

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