This whole quarter of a century thing is really shaping up to be a dozen epiphanies a day. Kind of convenient, I suppose.
Epiphany 1: I can buy a spray can of whipped cream. Without ice cream. Just to occasionally spray in my mouth through my kitchen travels. This was probably the best epiphany of all. Adulthood is suiting me nicely.
Epiphany 2: I can leave my dirty clothes on the floor of my room at my own convenience (sorry, Dad) and have no one bother me about it. Despite it getting on my own nerves, I can still do it. Yay, I’m a grown up!
Epiphany 3: I can put myself first whenever I want. I am single. I deserve some me-time, right?! I, up until very recently, have been a “people pleaser”. The idea of turning someone down would make me sick because I might hurt their feelings. God forbid I say ‘no’ to anyone. I would make myself uncomfortable or go out of my way to make others at ease.
The end of 25 has come with the second best epiphany of all (next to canned whipped cream): I can just say ‘No’. I don’t owe anyone an explanation unless I feel like it. Creepy guy who I regret giving my number to? Oh, I just told him I don’t have time to be make new friends because I honestly don’t want to spend my extra time getting to know someone new and to be a good friend. Why? Because being a good friend takes effort. And effort is very low on my list when it comes to others, right now.
Friends who want to go drinking? Sorry guys, I just really want to take off my pants and watch Catching Fire. Alone. With coffee. And whipped cream.
When asked, “What are you doing tonight?” and my response is, “Nothing,” I literally mean NOTHING. I don’t mean I’m bored and don’t know what to do. I mean that I have set aside time to not do shit.
I would never have thought to say no to anyone, let alone a friend. Between full-time student teaching AND college classes AND waiting tables until all hours of the night, I deserve some serious “me time”.
I fully and wholly pledge to do whatever the fuck I want this year because I do not have obligations to anyone. Don’t get me wrong. I am a great friend, aunt, sister, daughter. I am caring and give lots of shits. I love to do kind things for my family and friends. I don’t however feel like I have to please people I don’t really care about, nor will I spend copious amounts of time worrying about hurting those peoples feelings.
This new feeling of personal freedom is kind of fantastic.
Thanks, year 25 (less than a month until the big 26.)